Boston Locusts Are Among Us

Have you seen the locusts in Boston? I never knew they existed in cities until I came to the New England area; however, the locusts seem to feed and breed in Boston - their home base. I can't say I see them often, but I know exactly where they've been. Similar to how their cousins fly over crops and devour all they see, the Boston locusts take to the streets in swarms and leave their mark, orange tickets, on several parked cars.

The Boston locusts have also evolved more than their smaller more agile cousins. In the city, they take the shape of a parking enforcement officer. Yes, 5'5 - 6'2, sometimes male, other times female, and always donned in dark blue attire. These mercurial insects transform when they see a car missing its parking permit, another car stationed in a visitor's spot a minute longer than it should be or an innocent Mazda parked a tad too close to a fire hydrant. Orange tickets ensue. I was said victim parked too close to the fire hydrant and I have been wounded with the orange ticket of pain. But Ryan, my poor husband, has been the victim of the Boston locusts attack on several occasions - his Volvo's smell must attract the swarm. If you plan to visit Boston, beware of the mutant locusts; they are all around us.

While I am unaware of locusts of this nature in Seattle, I do know the Boston locusts breed quickly and will soon outgrow their territory. 

"Locusts are sometimes solitary insects with lifestyles much like grasshoppers. But locusts have another behavioral phase called the gregarious phase. When environmental conditions produce many green plants and promote breeding, locusts can congregate into thick, mobile, ravenous swarms." 

"The Boston locusts walk the streets as solitary insects, looking for prey and ticketing their victims. In many instances; however, the locusts swarm the streets, especially during the weekend phase. When city conditions produce many illegal parkers and promote ticketing heaven, Boston locusts can congregate into thick, mobile, ravenous swarms."